Hi friends!
For the past few years, I've spent a chunk of time helping families plan and pursue their goal of online and social media safety...filters, monitoring, best practices. I've done it because it is what parents want. It's what I want. It's what we all want. A guarantee, a formula, a negotiation that if we show up and do our part--our kids won't get hurt.
I truly wish I could offer you that hope.
The truth is—the online world is not safe, just as the real world isn't safe.
Different than the physical, external threats we faced as tweens and teens ourselves, the primary threats facing this generation are internal: mental, emotional, social, spiritual. Many days, I wish I could unhear all of the painful stories I've carried in co-founding Screen Sanity —from mainstream and faith-based families alike. Perhaps a stat from this article says it best: Over the last decade or so (since the introduction of the “like” button) the number of young people going to emergency rooms for self-harm-related incidents is up 300 percent.
So just to be clear—if your child is on social media, get your guardrails in place. Download Cleanbrowsing DNS (it’s free!) or Gryphon on your home Wi-Fi and download Bark or Canopy apps on your smartphones. For an excellent overview of what internet filters are available—check out Screen Sanity (wink wink—my personal fave) or Protect Young Eyes .
But please know this: Even the best internet filtering and monitoring services available are powerless against the content inside social media apps like TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram. In short--if safety is your top priority for your kids, social media apps are not your playground.
But also.
Social Media Safety Matters
Because social media is a reality that’s here to stay, there will come a time in your parenting journey when you will need to shift your mindset from protection to preparation. Social media safety really means to kiss "safety" goodbye as your top digital parenting goal. Why? Because safety--on our own terms--has never been part of God's plan.
Daniel was not “safe” in the lion’s den.
David was not “safe” with Goliath.
Esther was not “safe” with Haman.
God’s people find safety in God alone.
Friends, our kids need to know that the social media world is anything BUT safe. And yet, we can prepare them to face this certain hazard with courage and wholeheartedness and discernment...because Christ himself is our safety. He is our rock, our retreat, our hiding place. " He will cover you with his feathers and in his wings you will find refuge." (Ps. 91)
This is grace—that social media safety doesn't reside in our plan, but a Person. Even as our kids face a minefield of unknowns, let’s teach them to retreat to Him as their Safety.
xo, kb
Note: If you are delaying social media, but looking for practical ways you can shift your mindset from protection to preparation, check out our three-part series on delaying social media. In each mini-lesson, we unpack the core topics that pop-up when delaying social media for your tween(s).
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Mini-Lesson 1: A guide to age-appropriate devices and milestones to look for while they wait for social media.
- Mini-Lesson 2: Help tweens understand FOMO, friends and social limits while they wait.
- Mini-Lesson 3: Help tweens understand the harm of highlight reels while they wait.
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